Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
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