ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?