There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.