my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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