all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Quick, to the slutcave!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
there is puke in my bra ... again
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize