I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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