Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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