I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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