I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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