I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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