Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize