That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
