Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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