It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
