I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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