and you said cock pushups were impossible
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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