Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
