We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
