You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm so fucking centered right now
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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