We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
