ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
