I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
