I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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