god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I bet he comes in French.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
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