We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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