Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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