I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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