Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
