The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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