No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
