just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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