she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
