Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
