No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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