I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
