This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
