eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
