I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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