I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
