bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
