i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
