Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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