I looked at my own cervix.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
