he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Floor bacon is actually really good
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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