Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
