Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
