Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
