Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
