also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
is wine microwaveable?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
