So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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