i just had sex bonerless
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
