Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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