Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
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Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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