Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
