Have you finally orgasmed yet?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
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it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
