So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
