Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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