I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
